黒崎 一護 // Kurosaki Ichigo (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
suppressthedark) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
asgardmeridiem2012-09-19 06:05 pm
suppressthedark) wrote in asgardmeridiem2012-09-19 06:05 pm
And we smile, but never say too much; The moment always vanishing// [OPEN]
Who: Ichigo (suppressthedark)and YOU!
What: After his Hollow's little rampage, Ichigo finally wakes up and has to face what he's done.
When: Day 146.
Where: The hospital in Sigyn.
Rating: Uhhhh pg13?
[When he finally joined the rest of the living world, three days had slipped by. Three whole days and nights, laying silent and prone in the hospital room given to him, his body attempting to heal from the extremely traumatic ordeal it had been put through. The hollow hadn't given a damn about sleeping or eating, and the last fight that had made him stop...
...It had almost killed him, and he fears his life was bought with someone else's.
But for now, there's no one else in the room, at least no one he can see. Trying to turn his head only makes his still healing muscles complain, and when he lifts a hand (after accidentally trying to use the one with the ripped shoulder) to his neck, he can feel the new scar that's spread across his throat. No stitches, but then it hadn't needed it-it had been healed shut, anyway, but there was still tissue that needed to be regrown.
To that matter, he honestly would look like he'd been hit by a truck to anyone that actually saw him right now. That new scar at his neck, the blotchy purple bruising around his now mostly healed nose-and all over his back as well-the obvious stitches on his shoulder wound and the one near his neck, the wound running down all the way down and stopping just in front of his hips, and the myriad small wounds, cuts, and stabs he'd suffered. Add pale skin and large, heavy bags under his eyes to all of that, and you could say for certain that he feels as bad as he looks. Even worse, actually, since he was still weary to the bone and feeling no small amount of pain. But he doesn't feel like asking for anything to stop the pain, or even care that his body is going to be scarred up to all hell.
I deserve it, he thinks to himself.
Looking around the room, he can see some evidence of someone-or multiple someones-having been in his room at some point in time, although he'd be hard pressed to guess when. It's difficult even moving his eyes around in his head, and he'd really like nothing more than to go back to sleep and escape all of this, especially the guilt that's practically choking him, but it doesn't seem like he'll be able to go back to sleep so easily for a while. So-what else can he do?-he decides to just wait, closing his eyes with a sigh before opening them again miserably.
Patience never was his strong point.]
suppressthedark)and YOU!What: After his Hollow's little rampage, Ichigo finally wakes up and has to face what he's done.
When: Day 146.
Where: The hospital in Sigyn.
Rating: Uhhhh pg13?
[When he finally joined the rest of the living world, three days had slipped by. Three whole days and nights, laying silent and prone in the hospital room given to him, his body attempting to heal from the extremely traumatic ordeal it had been put through. The hollow hadn't given a damn about sleeping or eating, and the last fight that had made him stop...
...It had almost killed him, and he fears his life was bought with someone else's.
But for now, there's no one else in the room, at least no one he can see. Trying to turn his head only makes his still healing muscles complain, and when he lifts a hand (after accidentally trying to use the one with the ripped shoulder) to his neck, he can feel the new scar that's spread across his throat. No stitches, but then it hadn't needed it-it had been healed shut, anyway, but there was still tissue that needed to be regrown.
To that matter, he honestly would look like he'd been hit by a truck to anyone that actually saw him right now. That new scar at his neck, the blotchy purple bruising around his now mostly healed nose-and all over his back as well-the obvious stitches on his shoulder wound and the one near his neck, the wound running down all the way down and stopping just in front of his hips, and the myriad small wounds, cuts, and stabs he'd suffered. Add pale skin and large, heavy bags under his eyes to all of that, and you could say for certain that he feels as bad as he looks. Even worse, actually, since he was still weary to the bone and feeling no small amount of pain. But he doesn't feel like asking for anything to stop the pain, or even care that his body is going to be scarred up to all hell.
I deserve it, he thinks to himself.
Looking around the room, he can see some evidence of someone-or multiple someones-having been in his room at some point in time, although he'd be hard pressed to guess when. It's difficult even moving his eyes around in his head, and he'd really like nothing more than to go back to sleep and escape all of this, especially the guilt that's practically choking him, but it doesn't seem like he'll be able to go back to sleep so easily for a while. So-what else can he do?-he decides to just wait, closing his eyes with a sigh before opening them again miserably.
Patience never was his strong point.]
no subject
I am.
[And he's glad he can't see Ezio more than just out of the corner of his eye-Ichigo doesn't know if he could face him face-to-face.
After all, he still thinks Ezio died from healing his neck wound, and that is something that would not go easily. Nor was it just simple guilt-it was also self-blame and hatred, that he didn't fight fucking hard enough to stop it before all of this happened.
He still doesn't remember anything, either. Only that moment when he woke up, and then passed out after freaking out a little.]
no subject
If you are going to spend your time here blaming yourself, don't.
[He sits in a chair right by the bed, arms crossing and head tilting, giving him a slightly amused look, but also somewhat stern. Heads up, this is probably going to be another lecture from your future-sensei, Berry.]
no subject
He still doesn't say anything, but the guilt is practically rolling off of him in waves.]
no subject
Amico. [A pause as he sighs.] So you are just going to stay there, and wallow in your misery? Blame yourself for something you had no control over?
no subject
It was my fault!
[He nearly cringes back afterward, hand going to his throat again. But the feeling behind that yell is still there, still eating away at him.
And he has a question with an answer he's terrified to hear.]
no subject
[Being yelled at is nothing new to him- however, in this case, it only irks him more than he already is. He snaps back, angrily, voice rising to meet Ichigo's, and pointing out that he is unafraid to match the boy word for word, to make him realize how this whole thing was not something he could have predicted.]
This was not something you chose, do not blame yourself. If blame were to lie at anything we caused, no one would be trusted nor given even a chance to show they are not what others may think they are.
no subject
[It's like he didn't even listen to the words, discarding them so easily as he's mired in his own personal bog of self-hate and blame. Like slapping away the hands trying to pull him out, convinced that he shouldn't be helped.]
You-I saw-didn't you die because of-?!
[He can't continue, and he squeezes his eyes shut in pain, hating the fact that he's so helpless that he can't even move away slightly.]
no subject
[Ah. So this was one of the things that was plaguing his mind. Ichigo thought he died, trying to heal him. Ezio pauses, shifts a little, but then moves right into the other's view.]
Is that what you think? That I died healing you?
[It's offered with a grin, not too wide, but definitely one that hints that it's not what the boy may think he saw.]
no subject
Why was he grinning? It wasn't something to grin about, was it? Unless-]
You...
[He can't even get his question out all the way, and when he does, it comes out in a rush.]
You mean you didn't?
no subject
The most I did was fall unconscious. But it did knock me out for quite some time. When I came to, you were out like a light.
no subject
But even with that gone, the rest of what his hollow did still remains.]
...I... I'm glad.
["I didn't want to have caused your death, however indirectly."]
no subject
Sì, I am sure. I am just thankful I was able to get you and Caterina here soon after.
no subject
[He blinks, and if he could tilt his head, he would.]
But-I mean, he hurt you pretty bad, and you fell unconscious...
[That couldn't have been easy at all.]
no subject
It took some time, but I was able to manage.
no subject
[..Well. If anyone could do it, it would be Ezio. Ichigo has all the faith in the world when it comes to him.
So it's back to feeling guilt over what the hollow's done, obviously. He bites his lip, and then-]
...Did he hurt anyone else?
no subject
[It's not something he'll push, because knowing Ichigo? It'll bring him right back down to where he was, and make it that much harder for Ezio to pull out.]
no subject
[Well, it's something he'll push, anyway.]
no subject
[That's the simple version. He won't go into further details because he doesn't know what happened.]
no subject
[Well, at least he didn't hurt her beyond a headache and her pride, anyway. All things considered, it could have been worse. Much worse.
But it still feels wrong, still feels like...Even though Ezio didn't die and no one got seriously hurt, he still feels like he could have done...something. Maybe fought harder, stopped the hollow from taking the fight to that horrific, violent conclusion.
He looks down again, not saying anything. But really, he doesn't need to.
His guilt is still there, just not as intense as it was.]
no subject
Ichigo. Do not blame yourself.
no subject
[WHAT DID YOU SAY, EZIO? BLAME HIMSELF? WELL OKAY!]
no subject
Amico, I saw you break through him twice, before you finally came through. Once, in an effort to warn me of an attack, and the other when I had sent your hollow spiraling into madness with poison.
[A pause as he lets that sink in.]
You did fight hard enough, and it was what told me that you were still in there when I was against him.
no subject
He knows it's true, he really does. And yet, his heart seems to rebel against it, so quick to blame himself and what he didn't do.
Finally he sighs, looking up at Ezio.]
I know. I know, but...
[He can never let go easily.]
no subject
[There is an impatient look, one that understands Ichigo's issues with letting go, but there is only so much Ezio can do. He crosses his arms and his mouth goes into a thin line, not exactly amused.]
But what, amico.
no subject
...I just wish I didn't have him inside me.
[That is the core of ichigo's problem-Because he has a monster inside of him, a monster born of his own desires and impulses. A hollow that is utterly him, no matter how much he feels that he's not.
A side of his power, like Zangetsu. And although he knows that, it's still hard to accept the hollow. It's easier to feel guilt for what that dark mirror of himself has done than accept it and let go.
As mature as he is sometimes, in many ways he is still just a teenager, scared of himself and what he can do.]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)